A Laugh about Potty Training

A long time ago, there once was a three year old named Mark. He loved to play outside. He had a little beagle and there wasn't enough time in the day to play with it. Mark had a little problem. He wanted to play and was not willing to stop for anything, including going to the bathroom. Mark's mom told him over and over to come in the house once in awhile to go. Mark did not listen time after time. Mom finally told Mark that if he dirtied his pants one more time he was going to be sent to the doghouse.

Hearing this, Mark was worried. He started coming into the house for small breaks and rest. But one day he played too hard with his beagle and forgot to go into the house. Hearing his mother's voice echo in his mind, Mark went hid from mom. After a few hours, Mark's mom was frantic because Mark was nowhere to be found. Out of desperation, she yelled for Mark out the back door. Mark hearing her panic answered back, Here I are!" To this day, Mark still gets that line brought up at every family gathering. Here I are will never leave me.

What a Deer Story

Imagine the excitement of your first day of hunting as a twelve year old boy. Being rolled out of bed at 3:30 AM to eat breakfast and put on fifty pounds of clothes to keep warm because of the bone chilling temperature outside. Your father tells you many things about your coat with fifty-three pockets filled with items ranging from toilet paper to bologna sandwiches. No time to go to the bathroom, dad pulls you out of the cabin and into walking in the snow with a newly purchased 30-30 rifle on your back. The time it takes to get to the chosen tree seems like an eternity but once getting there gives a refreshing feeling. Preparing your tree is somewhat a task in itself. Quietly pulling all the snow and leaves away from the tree in order to make a seat for yourself takes time. Finally being able to sit down on the Hotseat was refreshing. The only bad part about sitting down on the Hotseat, it seemed to have warmed the body enough to get things moving at the posterior end (if you know what I mean). Pulling off your fifty-three pocketed coat and walking to a nearby tree gave some relief. But to your surprise, NO TOILET PAPER! As you are leaning against the tree with your posterior end sticky out so the squirrels are laugh hysterically, you panic. Pulling the whistle to your lips given to you by dad in case of emergency, you blow two times on the whistle. Little did you realize you just woke up every living and non-living creature in the mountain. Dad finally arrives and begins laughing because of your white posterior end sticky out against the tree. He kindly gives you a reprimand for not paying attention, but lovingly gives you the most needed toilet paper. After going through all of this, a prayer is said to get you out of the mountain and back to the cabin. All of the sudden a curious deer walks in front of the firing line. To your surprise you are blowing the whistle again to notify you dad of becoming a great deer hunter. Back to the cabin. What a story!